You have just 7 seconds to make a good first impression
You're at a business conference and you turn to the stranger standing next to you. He turns to face you and, in that instant, your brain makes a thousand computations. Is he someone to approach or to avoid? Should you flee or be friendly? Will he harm you or help you? In about seven seconds…
The act of lying triggers a heightened stress response
A short time after The Truth About Lies in the Workplace was published, I received this email: I had just begun reading your book, and had gotten to the part about body language signs that point to someone who is lying when I was confronted with a real-life situation. A parcel (that was meant to…
Body language plays a key role in your career but don’t limit your success by buying into these myths
Body language plays a key role in your career – from your first job interview to the ongoing process of building professional relationships to being perceived as having leadership presence. But not everything you’ve heard about body language is accurate. Don’t limit your success by buying into these 10 myths: Using body language to make…
If you accurately decode body language cues, you'll be well on your way to gaining the nonverbal advantage!
Human beings are genetically programmed to look for facial and behavioural cues and to quickly understand their meaning. We see someone gesture and automatically make a judgment about the intention of that gesture. And we've been doing this for a long, long time. As a species we knew how to win friends and influence people…
For your communication to have any emotional charge, face to face is the best choice
As we emerge from the Covid-19 pandemic Zoom burnout, one universal truth is becoming even clearer: Face-to-face is still the most preferred, productive and powerful communication medium. In fact, the more business professionals communicate electronically, the more pressing becomes the need for more personal interaction. Here's why ... In face-to-face meetings, our brains process the…
We need to view challenges and solutions in ways that validate our emotions and influence the way we feel about our jobs, and ourselves
Preparing for a speech to the leadership of an organization facing major restructuring pre-pandemic, I asked the meeting planner for background on the audience. "We've presented all the facts," she replied. "But it would be much easier if everyone weren't so emotional!" In the business world, it seems, people are supposed to think logically and act…
Essentially, we lose the amazing power of human-to-human connection
Regardless of how the future plays out in your organization, one thing is certain: virtual meetings are here to stay. It’s easy to see why. They are cost-effective, as there is no need to pay employees to travel and incur related expenses and, when successful, they enable talented peers to work together regardless of location…
We find it hard to let go of the past because that is where we've experienced personal success
Change is difficult — and we have plenty of reasons to resist it! No one likes to contemplate letting go of the skills and behaviours that "got us here." As individuals, we become psychologically attached to the status quo because it is familiar and comfortable. But even more difficult than fighting off the inertia of…
To grab someone's attention, move from making speeches and announcements to creating an experience in which people learn for themselves
In San Francisco, on the corner of Powell and Market, I once watched street performers entertain tourists waiting for the cable car to arrive and depart. My favourite "act" was two fully-dressed men who spray-painted themselves gold and silver. Posing like statues, they would kneel on the sidewalk facing each other with their elbows resting…
Embody the change you want in the world
I was still in high school when my father was fired from the San Francisco Examiner. Dad loved the newspaper business and he especially enjoyed his job, working with the newsboys who (then) sold papers on street corners. I knew he'd be devastated by the loss. To add to the problem, he had been employed…
A study of Olympic athletes offered insight into the body language of pride and shame.
For insight into the body language of pride and shame, scientists studied the behaviours of judo matches at the 2004 Olympic and Paralympic Games. The competitors represented 30 countries, including Algeria, Taiwan, Ukraine and the United States. The research report in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences stated that body language of blind…
We reveal a lot about our attitudes, emotions and motives by the way we hold our bodies
I often address leadership groups about the importance of nonverbal communication in business. Senior managers actively participate in the sessions, asking questions and volunteering for various demonstrations. Everyone seems genuinely interested in the topic. Everyone, that is, except this one time when one woman sat for the entire time with her shoulders rounded, chin tucked…
Create mini-cultures to make your group feel safe, valued, important and needed
I once spoke on “The Power of Collaborative Leadership" to business audiences in The United Arab Emirates, Scotland, England, The Netherlands, Belgium, Canada and four states of the U.S. Audience members represented industries including engineering, manufacturing, retailing, construction, shipping, technology, energy, utilities, printing, pharmaceuticals and consulting – plus a range of government agencies. After my…
Leaders must understand how nonverbal skills can help them develop positive business relationships
Many executives in my audiences are initially skeptical about hearing a speaker on "body language" because they suspect that the topic might be interesting, but not very practical. By the end of my program, they know better. Here's what they learn ... 1) Science has validated the impact of body language Body language is the…
The best way of countering liars is to follow the old adage “trust, but verify”
Recognizing that we are being lied to is an important social and business skill. But surprisingly small factors about someone, – where we meet them, what they wear, what their voices sound like, whether their posture mimics ours, if they mention the names of people we know or admire – can enhance their credibility to…
Five actions that will build trust in your organization. But only sustained behaviour will ensure that trust survives and thrives
Trust is the belief or confidence that one party has in the reliability, integrity and honesty of another party. It’s the expectation that the faith one places in someone else will be honoured. When I asked 537 managers how leaders build and destroy trust, here’s what I learned: It’s always a case of ‘follow the leader.’…
When your business colleague stops looking at you, she is "saying" with her eyes that she has, in effect, stopped listening
You're at a business event and the colleague you've been having an intense conversation with begins to shift her gaze from your face to look around the room. Ever wonder why that makes you feel as if she has stopped listening? You know it's not logical. A person doesn't have to look at you to…
If a speaker's gestures are not in full agreement with the spoken words, the audience perceives duplicity
Have you ever noticed that when people are passionate about what they're saying, their gestures automatically become more animated? Their hands and arms move about, emphasizing points and conveying enthusiasm. You may not have been aware of this connection before, but you instinctively felt it. Research shows that audiences tend to view people who use…
Small nonverbal changes can make a big difference in how people perceive and relate to you
I’ve spoken to over 200 business, university, association, and government audiences and, in the process of preparing to address these very savvy professionals, I’ve discovered even more about the role of body language in business success. Here are my 10 simple and powerful body language tips I've culled over the years: 1) Before an important…
Six steps to achieving a positive customer sales experience from beginning to end
A customer-centric culture is not just about offering good service. It’s a way of doing business that provides a positive customer experience before, during and after the sale in order to drive repeat business, customer loyalty and profits. Elements of customer centricity include: Employees understand what customers want. They capture customer insights and share this…
The high achievers of today are not so much a product of superior expertise as they are a product of superior networks
What really distinguishes high performers from the rest of the pack? Their ability to maintain and leverage large, diversified networks that are rich in experience and span all organizational boundaries. In other words, our greatest advantages aren't coming from what we know but rather from whom we know – and the high achievers of today are not…
There is nothing more immobilizing than hanging on to knowledge whose time has expired
I believe in ghosts. Not only do I believe in ghosts, I've seen how they haunt workers, teams, departments and entire organizations. And nowhere are these workplace ghosts more insidious than in the area of collaboration. What I'm calling "ghosts" are out-dated attitudes and behaviours about collaborative knowledge sharing that still haunt corporate halls and…
The way to focus people on the organization's optimal future is to get them to pay attention to their own insights
Don't you just hate dealing with people who fight against every plan for organizational change? You know the type: They're disruptive, set in their ways, and highly resistant to change, even when it is obviously in the best interest of the business. Well guess what? Research suggests that those trouble-making, inflexible, change resistors are ...…
What could possibly go wrong?
Don’t like being interviewed on video? Prefer an in-person meeting? Well, you're out of luck – video interviewing is here to stay. That means learning to avoid the pitfalls of virtual interaction. Here are my answers to some questions you should be asking to prepare for your upcoming video interview. Question: Can you tell me how to…
A video cover letter, if done correctly, is personal and engaging – and could very well be the difference between being ignored or getting the interview
We are witnessing the death (or at least the ineffectiveness) of the traditional cover letter for job applicants. If you want to stand out in the crowd, hiring managers today prefer something a little more interesting and efficient. A video cover letter, if done correctly, is personal and engaging – and could very well be…
Want to brighten your mood, make a lasting impression, encourage collaboration, and positively influence others? Then smile
Smiles have a powerful effect on all of us. The human brain prefers happy faces, recognizing them more quickly than those with negative expressions. Smiles are such an important part of communication that we spot a smile at 90 meters – the length of a football field. Smiles can also be your secret to success.…
Six tips you should follow when creating your values strategy
A sales manager read an article about his company’s refusal to deal with any country where “under the table” money was part of the negotiation process. He circled the article and wrote the words Right On! in the column, and mailed it to his CEO. The attached note said: “I’m proud to work in a…
People believe what they see, not what they hear
Of course I'm not talking about you. You may be a respected professional whose expertise speaks for itself. Your body language is a minor consideration. Or is it? Here's an email I recently received from an engineer: 'The Project Manager introduced a new consultant. The new guy smiled and shook hands with everybody, but it…
A leader's expectations of his employees is a key factor in how well people perform at work
Pygmalion in the Classroom, one of the most controversial publications in the history of educational research, shows how a teacher's expectations can motivate student achievement. This classic study gave prospective teachers a list of students who had been identified as "high achievers." The teachers were told to expect remarkable results from these students, and at…
Everyone lies – it's part of human nature. And nothing can weaken a network or destroy a reputation faster than being exposed as a liar. So minimize your lies
Wouldn’t it be convenient if the workforce were divided neatly into “us” versus “them?” We, of course, would be the good guys who were always upfront and truthful. They would be the rotten apples whose destructive lies betray the confidence placed in them and ruin everything for the rest of us. If that scenario were…